Daijoubu

Yo, Yuuji, you SUCK!

You are causing great emotional distress to Shana and I won’t stand for it. It is also clear you are an complete idiot and f**k-up. While you happily play nests and birdies with the Hecate-clone girl, don’t you stop to think that there might be something fishy going on? Sure, she may not be a tomagura, but don’t you think the fact that she looks like one of your most powerful opponents is more than a little suspicious? Obviously there’s some kind of cunning plot going on (maybe divide-and-conquer) and you just go along with it!! I mean, what high-school girl would be so out-of-it she’d need special minders appointed from among her classmates? Don’t they have special ed in Japan? A teenage girl decides to wander off and everyone acts like its a kindergartener that’s missing! This is pretty damn suspicious, don’t you think nerd-boy? I mean, in Clannad they do a lot more to investigate Fukko, and she didn’t even resemble a dangerous enemy!

But really, your actions reveal that you are just a slut in the end. You want another super orgasm like you had at the end of last season. You think the mysterious transfer student can provide something better than Shana ever could, and so you treat one of the sexiest tsundere that every caused an otaku heartbeat to speed up just like she was some easily discarded rubbish! UNACCEPTABLE!!!! You are so dense with your “gee, I wonder why Shana’s so mad, oh well” routine! How easily you choose to forget what she said to you last season! You need to get the School Days treatment right away. I don’t care how much “power of existence” you have pouring outta your ass, Shana should kick your 2D butt and make like Sakai Saionji with her sword!

And what’s with that stupid bit of hair that’s always sticking up off the back of your head? Don’t you know what a comb looks like? You always look like you just tumbled out of bed after a night of fapping to memories of your super-orgasm! Get this through your thick skull, YOU HAVE SHANA! The flame-haired beauty of all sword-wielding babes can be yours, and all you do is eat her melonpans every day like its some kind of painful duty. You should treat those melonpans as though they were sacred gifts given as a special dispensation to your grubby mortal hands! Get a life!

I would go on, but the offensiveness of this letter would only escalate and cause distress for my more delicate readers. So, Yuuji Sakai-chan, just imagine I’ve unleashed a wildarmsheero-sized rant on you, the biggest wuss of the current anime season! If I were Marmot, I might say something like, YOU ARE A FAGGOT YUUJI, but I’m not so rude and offensive, lol.

In other words YUUJ, if you make Shana cry, my boys are coming for you!
Love,
DS