Daijoubu

Hot on the heels of my declaration of war against bad anime, our crack Daijoubu investigative team has uncovered the evidence that bad anime is not merely upsetting, but can be LIFE THREATENING!!!

Excerpt from the Daily Nipponioan:

Tuesday, October 28, 2008
A body was discovered today in an apartment in ____ town, _____ prefecture, Japan. It has been identified as Y___ M___, a 22 year old unemployed hikikomori Neet akibakei otaku. An unpleasant smell emanating from his apartment lead neighbors to call the police. The investigating officer found evidence which prompted him to call in the newly formed MSI (Moe Scene Investigation) Unit. The walls and ceiling of the studio apartment were covered with over 200 posters, which investigators concluded had been carefully removed from Megami and similar magazines. 7,000 figures, ranging from small gachapon trading figures to life-sized dolls, were discovered, crammed into every space in the room. A large Haruhi hug-pillow was found in the bed. To preserve the dignity of the deceased, we will not describe the various stains found on many of these items.

The body was found sitting at a computer desk. The monitor was displaying a scene from a current anime featuring a loli with typically huge eyes. The short 30-second sequence had been set to endlessly repeat. The squealing moeblob on the screen was engaged in some fan-servicey activity. The lead Moe Scene Investigator explained to us the horrific conclusions his team had reached:

“For a moe-obsessive, this individual was in surprisingly good physical condition. He was also well fed, because although he had spent all of his food money on moe paraphernalia, he was able to find sustenance from dog and cat food bowls which his neighbors keep on their balconies. The coroner could find no overt cause for death. We strongly suspect that this is a case of Spontaneous Moe Death (SMD), which can be caused by excessive exposure to moe. What tipped the scales in this instance was his desire to place on repeat a particularly saccharine moe scene, which the victim viewed a mere 50 times before, caught by a seizure during his moe-induced high, every chemical process in his body suddenly froze. This is not the first case we have encountered and, while I hesitate to create a public panic by using the word epidemic, I strongly urge the citizens of the world to be on guard against this new and very serious danger!”