Daijoubu

In a shocking new move, a consortium of Japanese animation studios announced yesterday that, from now on, all new anime will produced with character designs based on Kyoto Animation’s popular series K-ON. The new Winter season anime titled Sora no Woto was chosen as the first test case, but others will be following soon. KyoAni will attempt to make the popular character Suzumiya Haruhi even more moe-ified. Said one Japanese animation executive (who asked not to be identified), “Moe is now the only acceptable mode of presenting animated character designs.” A Japanese government minister has also declared that, instead of anime, all animation from Japan will now be called Moeme, taken from the term, moemation.

Older series are not exempt from the new regulations. All older series with character designs not deemed sufficiently moe will be redone with K-ON-based characters. Said one economic analyst, “this is a most excellent way to provide work in this recession, as thousands of new re-animators will be required to superimpose K-ON characters onto every old ani-, I mean moeme, from Gundam and Sailor Moon, to Macross and Fist of the North Star.” Reactions among Japanese Akibakei have been ecstatic, with large crowds gathering to burn all old DVDs, figures, and any other memorabilia deemed not sufficiently moe. Reactions among foreign “otaku” animebloggers has been mixed, but some suicides have been reported.